No Chaser

City Bound!

After being harassed here in pumpkinville two times in as many days, we are heading out on an escapist trip to the sort-of-nearby large city. We will eat good food! We will view amazing art! We will be around a variety of normal people instead of the aliens that live here! There will be no corn in sight! Hoo-rah!!!

posted by: NoChaser at October 30, 2005 04:41 | link | comments (4) |

Suppositions

I am supposed to be writing a conference paper. I am instead writing a blog entry. I am supposing that this blog entry writing will warm me up for some more conference paper writing.

What can we suppose would happen if I did not write the rest of the conference paper? I suppose people who are expecting to receive said paper via email would think I am irresponsible. I suppose I would feel guilty and flaky.

What do you suppose when I write that I am procrastinating? You might suppose that I am a regular procrastinator. I suppose it would appear I am.

Strangely, I am not at all a procrastinator. In fact, I will get this paper in ahead of deadline. Still . . . I am kind of procrastinating right now, unless of course you buy my 'warming up" argument.

I suppose I should write about the fact that yesterday was my last day at that crap job I have been whining about. But, since I am supposed to be doing something else and I am feeling fairly warmed up now, I suppose I will move on to the assignment at hand.

posted by: NoChaser at October 29, 2005 12:29 | link | comments (1) |

Ongoing gripe about technology

One of my small joys is watching movie trailers on-line. The other day I tried to watch the new Harry Potter trailer to discover that Apple trailers now requires QuickTime 7, which of course requires an OS newer than the one I am using. Fortunately, there is a website I already use because it has the international trailers and lots of films that Apple doesn't have, so now that will be my default . . . and screw Apple.

I keep resisting technological innovations, but then I get pulled in because there are no new LPs, no one communicates via snail mail, the VHS tape selection is bad, other people's documents are unreadable on my old OS. I hate the constant upgrading of computers and outmoding of old platforms so that you can't access even what you are used to accessing, and it seems I have to complain about it regularly. And, then when you do upgrade as I did last year, you get accustomed to the new perqs and options, only to have them taken away as soon as they've become integral to your daily activities. This is planned obsolescence with a vengeance. I know I'm not saying anything new, but it does irritate me.

I like some of the wonderful things that new media allow, like watching trailers on-line, like blogging, like web films, like mini-DV and editing software. I just hate the consumer capitalist engine that drives it. Yes, yes, freeware and shareware are great, and I use some of it, but it struggles to compete. I suppose I could continue to cut out levels of consumption. I already don't watch TV, buy various conglomerate brand products, shop retail for clothing, or drive much. But, sheesh, I really like movies, and I really like trailers.

By the way, I recommend the new Harry Potter trailer, available via this link at movielist.com. Note as well, Mike Newell directs (Four Weddings and a Funeral; Enchanted April; but also Mona Lisa Smile), and I really don't know what to think about that because none of these are anything at all like Goblet of Fire.

End dork rant.

posted by: NoChaser at October 23, 2005 07:42 | link | comments (2) |

Checking in

I have had a very busy few weeks here in Cornlandia. The bad is only minor: icky boss-man getting mildly on my nerves; lots of work to do of my own; tired; still have not made cookies; had mandatory dinner with alien colleagues; hurt ankle; radiator in bedroom broken; no time for housekeeping = clutter = annoyance; no rest in sight.

The good news is (in satisfying list form):

1) I finished revising an article and resubmitted it

2) I completed applications to fourteen jobs in wonderful locations

3) I had a very uplifting visit with randomgirl

4) I did the laundry

5) I met a very nice scholar with an inspiring approach to it all

6) I will soon have the conference paper completed, and

7) I will soon be off at said conference with my old dancing partner

And, on top of it all, the leaves are turning amazing colors.

posted by: NoChaser at October 22, 2005 14:38 | link | comments |

Friday pleasures

Wearing jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes, and ballcap to work.

Working on an article all day instead of doing my job; notably, this article is in part about someone else doing the same thing.

Leaving work early. I was just working on my own shit anyway, why hang around?

A surprisingly deliciuos organic orange at lunchtime.

Doggies laying in the sun.

Randomgirl appearing on my doorstep.

posted by: NoChaser at October 14, 2005 12:39 | link | comments (1) |

Eloise Episteme

When I was young, Eloise was one of my favorite books. I actually still love this book. But, one of my favorite things is when she says in little side notes, "Here's what I like to do: make things up. Here's what I hate: Peter Rabbit."

I think about this more often than you'd expect, and it has found it's way into my thought processes. For example, "Here's what I like: Henry James. Here's what I hate: jargon." It's not strictly dichotomous, and it places things in potentially telling relations. But, it's also just fun.

This morning when I was lying in bed trying to go back to sleep because it was 3 am for lord's sake, I thought to myself, "Here's what I like: 501s. Here's what I hate: tube socks."

posted by: NoChaser at October 11, 2005 03:42 | link | comments (8) |

Up in the middle of the night

Because I am up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep, and thanks to Cheeky Prof, I am doing silly things like this:

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

I actually did have pink hair about 20 years ago. It looked quite natural. I would not, however, call the rest of this accurate. Hyper, yes. Insane, assuredly. A "traveling party," no.

posted by: NoChaser at October 11, 2005 03:15 | link | comments (2) |

Sunny Day

Sweepin' the clouds away . . .

It's a beautiful day, and the Clonkster is out of town and sadly missing it. But, he's near mountains, so I'm sure he is enjoying his day as well.

I've had some nice phone conversations this morning, one to plan an upcoming conference trip (fun!) and another to catch up with a grad school friend (funny!). I took the doggies to the dog park. I did some grocery shopping, which means going to three different places to get everything I want. It's been cold, so I got stuff for chili and for shepherd's pie. I also got goodies for making cookies.

I just finished revising my CV, and now have to rewrite my job letter. Bleah. It's hard to know how to handle the recent quitting. I think I need to be honest about it and include it, but sort of play it down in the letter. Ugh.

Went out with the Queen of the Wild Frontier last night. She's sweet and funny, one of Clonk's most excellent colleagues. I really hope I can find something here because I certainly can't expect Clonk to leave with colleagues and a job like he has. And, the other option is living separately. That option is ultra-suck. Even when Clonk is driving me crazy and I fantasize about shooting him full of opiates, I still want him around.

I am trying to be open to the many possibilities. Leaving that crap job sure helps. Knowing that Randomgirl is coming to visit next weekend also makes me quite cheerful.

Mainly, I don't feel like a dark cloud anymore.

posted by: NoChaser at October 08, 2005 12:34 | link | comments (2) |

On Quitting

Quitting makes former employees stop by to commiserate.

Quitting makes your boss realize you are valuable and competent and begin to treat you with respect.

Quitting makes colleagues come to you for answers to long-unanswered questions about the psychological makeup of your known-to-be-nutty employer.

Quitting makes fellow employees feel they too can get out from under the squashing, ungainly thumb of the employer.

Quitting makes some kind souls ask whether they are at fault when they are absolutely not at fault.

Quitting makes you feel as though you can do anything you want.

posted by: NoChaser at October 06, 2005 06:12 | link | comments (4) |

The latest

(With apologies to people I have emailed who will recognize some of these sentences.)

Yesterday afternoon, I quit my job, giving a month's notice. The boss has a very unhealthy anxiety level, which manifests not only in a few obvious compulsive behaviors, but also in a managerial style that is intrusive, controlling, and demeaning. I had a conversation with the department secretary yesterday about this, and she told me someone else had quit for this reason before I came, and yet another staff member was planning to do the same. This is particularly bad considering there are only three staff members in this unit.

I'm disappointed because when I took this job, I was led to believe I would have a great deal of autonomy and have the opportunity to shape the department. Indeed, my various experiences and interests were considered a good match with the direction they wanted to go. But, I am unable to even twitch without the boss' approval, and he won't allow me to initiate anything, so there's nothing for me to even grab hold of to help me put up with the really bad stuff. As Yknot so kindly put it in his email to me, "The reality of the position is that it turned out to be an office assistant position, nothing like what was posted in the announcement. [You] need to seek the type of work [you] trained to do..."

Yesterday, after a week of my slaving over several things that are not my responsibility, I received a string of unreasonable and angry emails filled with manipulative and dishonest language. It actually made me cry. I was so upset, I walked over to Clonk's office to talk about it. I wanted to wait until Monday to quit, but Clonk insisted I quit then and there or I would talk myself out of it. He was right of course. So, he sat down and wrote the letter for me. At first he filled it with the kind of miniscule errors my boss likes to pick at, which made me laugh really really hard. But, then, we made a clean version, and I left feeling I had some power back. I walked back to the office, and the boss was (surprisingly) standing right there when I walked in the door. I handed him the letter and that was that.

Everyone I have talked to about this, including three people in similar jobs here (who by the way seem far more professional than me) have expressed amazement that I was "handling it so professionally" and wondered why I had not yet quit. As always, I am very grateful for my friends, who have been so supportive of me through this. After months of reading my despairing emails and taking my desperate phone calls, everyone now shares my sense of relief and showers me with congratulations.

Without my prompting in the choice of language, the Translator wrote to me, "You really did go far beyond the call of duty. You were in a position where any other person would long ago either have quit or have gone ballistic and gotten fired. The fact is the guy was being abusive to you. And should anyone ask why, you can use the word "abusive."

And he's right to call it abusive. It is precisely how I have been thinking about it. I have been nervous about how people would react to my leaving the position (will it make me look flakey, unreasonable, pampered, petulant), but I can't stay in an abusive situation because I fear what people will think of me. That's how abusers keep their control right? That and silence, which I do not intend to keep. If I learned anything from growing up in an abusive household, that's it. They fear your voice. Do not keep silent.

I won't yell, I won't write letters of complaint, I won't gossip. I will respond quietly and frankly to inquiries. I will not be strangled.

posted by: NoChaser at October 01, 2005 05:20 | link | comments (4) |