No Chaser

Explaining the bale of hay

Our  neighbors have a seasonally rotating front porch display.  For winter, the centerpiece is an antique sled; for spring, an antique milk tin; for summer, some very odd craft-fair Uncle Sam made of scrap objects and painted with stars and stripes; for fall, a bale of hay.  The hay will soon be surrounded (if it is not already) by gourds and squashes as well as your standard scarecrow and maybe some fake spiders.  Very festive, these folks.   I have to give them some credit, though, for their inventiveness and energy.  They avoid the drug-store nylon banners and paper or plastic holiday decorations for the most part, and really enjoy making their own  stuff.  And they are always making things, scouring antique malls, haunting the aisles of Michael's.  So what if half the items they pick up in their shopping are old "Mammy" and "Tom" figures?  They did give me a hand-knit and felted easter basket last April after all.

posted by: NoChaser at September 28, 2006 04:58 | link | comments (3) |

Autumn is here

You know it's Fall when

the tomato plants finally slow their production

clothes must be dried in the dryer rather than on the line

you somehow feel like making a casserole and don't mind the oven being on

the sweaters, flannel pajamas, and turtlenecks beckon to you from their storage box in the basement

there are nice big cabbages and more varieties of potato at the farmer's market

the neighbors install a bale of hay on their front porch

you add an extra blanket to the bed

hot tea sounds like a nice idea

posted by: NoChaser at September 24, 2006 16:58 | link | comments (5) |

Tetanus

When I was, oh, around 16 or 17, I was running through my house and stepped on a toothpick that was sticking straight up out of the carpet.  I have no idea why the toothpick was there, but it's probably safe to blame one of my younger brothers, which I did not do at the time, but now that I think about it . . . nah, just messing with you D & S.

So, anyway, I have this toothpick embedded in my foot, and of course, as I stepped on it, it broke off leaving a raggedy edge sort of flowering out of the wound.  My mom was at work, so I called her, and she told me to get in the tub, soak my foot, and try to remove the toothpick.  If it wasn't out by the time she got home, she'd take me to the doctor where (I knew) they would stab me with needles, pry at me with tweezers, and cut me with scalpels.  I hated doctors then more than I do now, and I really hate doctors now, so my response to this was to spend a really long time (hours probably) soaking my foot and trying to get the toothpick out.  I managed to pull it part of the way out, but mainly the flowering edge just kept splintering off as I pulled at it.

When my mom got home, she tried to help, but it was no use.  I ended up at a local clinic that night since the doctor's office was closed by the time I admitted defeat.  They did all the things I feared they would do, but they got the toothpick out.  They also gave me a tetanus shot. 

As you can guess from my age in this story, it has been over ten years since I had a tetanus shot.  One of the requirements of attending this university -- where I am once (but never) again enrolled in a graduate program -- is updated vaccinations, including tetanus.  I tried to figure a way out of it, and came up with several less-than-feasible, somewhat criminal plans.  Yesterday, I sucked it up and went in for the tetanus shot.  Fortunately, I am not suffering too badly in the aftermath, but my arm really really hurts where the little tetanus microbes are invading my muscle cells, and that kind of sucks. 

But, somehow, I am comforted by my memories of impalement by toothpick.  Perhaps because of my bravery facing the pain and then the doctor, perhaps because an aching arm is nothing to a toothpick in the foot.

posted by: NoChaser at September 20, 2006 20:23 | link | comments (5) |

Middle Age

So, lately, a lot of little signs have been popping up to indicate that I have definitively reached middle age.  I could write the perimenopause off as a fluke, and so what if my back seems to get stiffer much more easily these days ... but can I continue do deny the bifocals?  That's right, bifocals, and actually I've put off getting new glasses for about a year and a half even though it was about that long ago that I was sitting in a schmancy bar in Seattle celebrating the end of the PhD era for all of us when I found myself taking my glasses off to talk to the person next to me and putting them back on to talk to the people across from me, and no, it wasn't the ritzy drinks I was imbibing.  I still don't officially have bifocals, but I have a pairs of readers/computer glasses, and a pair of distance glasses.  Next thing you know, I'll have both pairs dangling from a chain around my neck.  Librarian chic!

And, if my own life isn't middle-aged enough, I increasingly find myself in conversation with friends about middle-aged life events they are facing:

realizing the damn weight won't come off by just cutting back on calories anymore, and so breaking down and going to Weight Watchers;

asking friends to send letters of reference to a Family Court officer so that you can take custody of your drug-addled sister-in-law's kids;

considering moving to a different state to care for an increasingly sick mother and an aunt potentially diagnosed with lung cancer;

meeting a kid you weren't sure you even had and having to pay child support for the next eleven years;

maintaining a party persona long enough that just "liking to party" and "not giving a damn what people think" has transformed into antisocial alcoholism;

having a baby and then moving from a hip city to the midwest to be close to family and friends who can provide a support network, but also to live in a place that is cheap enough you can actually get ahead rather than fall behind;

being found by a long lost friend through your daughter's myspace account because she is now as old as you and your friend were when you met;

deciding you are ready to have a child with your gay/straight roommate/dearest friend with whom you are not romantically but affectionately and happily entangled.

Damn.  Bifocals are tame in comparison.

posted by: NoChaser at September 13, 2006 19:57 | link | comments (4) |

My new friend Pete

I don't do particularly well at parties, having a mild phobia of both strangers and crowds, so I was fortunate last night in meeting Pete.  When Clonk and I arrived, Pete greeted us at the door along with one of the hosts.  He was talkative in a sort of offputting way at first, but friendly.  He hung around trying to get our attention for awhile, and we chatted with him a bit, but he got bored with us and went to help the hostess in the kitchen. 

As other people arrived, Pete did exactly what I wanted to do -- go to the backyard to chill out.  He'd occasionally wander back in through the house doing his best to be social with the other guests, but you could tell he was restless.  Every time the hostess went into the kitchen, Pete followed, and eventually I did too.  We three hung out there away from the small crowd in the living room until the food was prepared and then we had to join the group again to eat. 

After dinner, Pete ended up back in the yard, and I finally followed him.  It was what I had been wanting to do all evening, but didn't want to seem rude.  Pete was less talkative than at the beginning of the party, but he was communicative in his own way, and actually I liked him a lot better in this more relaxed state. 

I admired the way Pete followed his instincts throughout the party without worrying much about how people might interpret his actions.  Because Pete was just doing his thing, he gave me the tiny bit of courage required to do mine, and finally, when both of us were outside, another party guest who had seemed even more miserable than me joined us and said more than he had in the preceding two hours, which was still not much, but you could see him relax. 

I spent the rest of the party hanging with Pete and felt calm and comfortable in his unassuming company.  I look forward to seeing him again.

posted by: NoChaser at September 04, 2006 09:29 | link | comments (2) |